Ohio, I-75: Oh how I love the new 70 mph speed limit, see me whistle as we merely slow down for the lane shift by the bridge that’s under construction, la, la, la.
Ohio, US-23: Okay, we really didn’t need to stop preparatory to taking an off ramp, but whatever, la la, and isn’t it amusing how all the drivers start to salivate as we approach the Michigan border, visibly thinking “we’re almost there, everyone go faster!”.
Michigan, US-23: Ah, how I love Michigan, where everyone takes ten over the speed limit for granted, watch us eat up that (somewhat under-maintained) pavement, la, la, la, oh hey I should take this opportunity of relatively un-congested road to take my next xanax so I can continue to resist the urge to turn my car into a kinetic energy weapon versus annoying drivers. *juggles wheel, water bottle, pill box, and pill like a boss*
*a quite prescient boss*
US-23 as soon as it joins M-14: DEAD STOP, WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? Oh hell, it’s just the interchange, we’ll speed up again as soon as 23 curves off, la, I can coast in second gear like a boss for a few miles.
*a less prescient, and indeed somewhat memory deficient boss*
US-23 to I-96: THIS ROAD IS POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL, WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THIS START AND STOP BULLSHIT, WHY CAN’T WE AVERAGE MORE THAN 30 MPH, WHAT’S WITH THE LEFT LANE COMING TO A HALT FOR EVERY RIGHT-HAND ENTRANCE RAMP, THANK GOD I ALREADY TOOK MY NO-MURDER PILL, WHY DO I ALWAYS FORGET HOW 23 RUNS THROUGH THE HELLMOUTH EVERY TURKEY-DAY?
I-96: Free at last! …wait. …what? PEOPLE ARE DOING LESS THAN THE SPEED LIMIT ON I-96, ISN’T THERE A LAW AGAINST THAT OR SOMETHING?
D-19 exit: *Granrodeo’s “Can Do” comes on, just in time to alternatively vent my urge to shove something explosive up the grill of the asshole coming up my tailpipe* Good timing, my dear Nano. *zips down unlighted back roads at ten over the limit, and the lovely and rather soothing intro of Kyoukai no Kanata comes on* Very good timing, dear Nano! *arrives at parents house hardly wanting to murder anything at all* I could really do with a glass of wine.
Parents: Sure, honey, go down to the wine rack and pick out a bottle of something!